📝 A Letter from the Table: “I Thought I’d Be Further Along By Now”

✉️ From a Reader

Dear Liyah,

I’m 63 years old and thought, by now, I’d feel more… settled.

I imagined this stage of life would bring rest. Clarity. The kind of wisdom that lets you breathe deep and sleep through the night without spinning thoughts. But instead, I’m still tired. I’m still learning. And most days, I still find myself needing to trust God the same way I did when I was 25.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m so grateful. I have a good life. A little homestead we built up ourselves. A family I’d give anything for. And even the hard seasons have taught me things I couldn’t have learned any other way.

But I find myself wondering…

Is it normal to still feel like I’m becoming?

Does it ever get easier to trust without fear or doubt?

Why does surrender sometimes feel harder now than it did back when I was still raising babies and balancing the budget with prayer and duct tape?

I love your blog, by the way. It feels like a safe place. But sometimes I wonder… do you ever feel this way? Or am I the only one still trying to find my footing even after all these years?

With love and a warm cup of tea,

— Still Becoming in My 60s

🪵 From Liyah’s Desk at The Biblical Homestead

Dear one,

Oh, how your letter wrapped around my heart. If you and I were sitting across from each other at the kitchen table, I think we’d both have tears in our eyes. Not from sadness, but from the holy relief of not being alone.

You asked if I ever feel this way.
Let me answer you clearly:

Yes. All the time.

I’m 55 years old, and I still don’t feel “settled.” I’ve had beautiful dreams, impressions from the Lord, nudges that I knew were Him. And many of them… I still haven’t seen come to pass.

Some days, I wonder if I missed my moment.
Other days, I sense He’s just been keeping me in the classroom a little longer.

And truthfully? That feeling of incompleteness—the one you described so tenderly—has become something I’m learning to treasure. Because it keeps me dependent. It keeps me reaching. It keeps me from drifting into that lukewarm comfort that numbs the soul. It keeps me on the vine, bearing fruit in due season.

🌿 I used to think that aging would bring certainty.
But I’ve found that growing older just means I’ve had to surrender more—again and again.

And you know what? It’s okay to not.

• To not feel like you’ve arrived.
• To not know what’s next.
• To not have a tidy spiritual résumé with all the boxes checked.

Most of us don’t. We just don’t always know how to say it out loud.

But here’s the secret:
When we’re honest with God—and honest with ourselves—that’s when we start to see Him move. That’s when we hear His voice more clearly, not because He was silent before, but because we’ve finally laid down the performance and just leaned into the conversation.

📖 Scripture to Anchor This Season

Isaiah 46:4 (KJV)
“And even to your old age I am he; and even to hoar hairs will I carry you: I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will deliver you.”

God doesn’t expect you to be done becoming.
He’s still carrying you.

You’re not a late bloomer.
You’re a right-on-time fruit bearer.

I’ve started three blogs this past year—this one included.
I’ve begun writing books and stories that have lived in my notebooks for decades.

Why now?
Because now, I have 55 years of learning behind me.
Because now, those dreams aren’t just born of youthful ambition—they’re steeped in experience, in prayer, in real surrender.

Romans 8:28 still stands.
He is using all things for your good.
Even the delays. Even the doubts. Even the “not yets.”

🤍 A Final Word, Just for You

If you’re still becoming, praise God.

If you’re still waiting, still learning, still needing to trust—
You’re in the good company of every saint who’s ever walked by faith.

You’re not behind.
You’re on the path.
And you’ve got a seat here at the table.

Keep walking, sister.
He’s still writing your story.

With love and warm bread from the oven,
—Liyah
The Biblical Homestead